What did the viola teacher say to the student? 'You're sharp as a tack... in all the wrong ways!'
What do you call a violist that's bad at playing the viola? A violist.
A 'cellist and three violists walked into a restaurant. The waiter asked the cellist 'Would you like anything with your steak? Salad? Potatoes? Vegetables?' The cellist pointed at the violists and said 'Oh, they'll have what I'm having.'
There is no difference between a violin and a viola. The violin just looks smaller because the violinist's head is so big.
What do you call a viola player with half a brain? Gifted.
What do you call a beautiful woman on a violist's arm? A tattoo.
What's the difference between a viola and a vacuum cleaner? You have to plug in the vacuum cleaner before it sucks.
String quartet: When a good cellist, a bad cellist, a former violinist, and someone who hates violinists get together to complain about composers.
Orchestra joke: What's the difference between a bull and an orchestra? On a bull, the horns are in front and the a** is in the back.
Violist: 'I'd give my right arm to play like Primrose.' Friend: 'Don't be silly, you need your right arm. Give your head instead - you're not using it.'
Q: What do you call someone who hangs around musicians? A: A violist.
