How do you get a dozen violists to play in tune? Shoot 11 of them.
Why shouldn't you drive off a cliff in a mini with three violas in it? You could fit in at least one more.
Why can't a violist play with a knife in his back? Because he can't lean back in his chair.
What's the range of a viola? As far as you can kick it.
Workers were building a union hall. The violists asked why they were digging while the trumpeter supervised. 'Because I'm smarter.' The violist didn't understand. The trumpeter put his hand in front of a tree. 'Hit my hand!' At the last instant he moved it. The violist went back to the ditch. 'Let me explain,' he said to his friend, putting his hand in front of his own face. 'Hit my hand with your shovel!'
