What did the viola player bring to the beach? A suit and a sign that said, 'This just in from my career: depressing news!'
A viola player walked into a magic shop. The magician said, 'I can make anything disappear.' The violist said, 'Can you start with my career?'
A viola player's autobiography Chapter 1: 'Why I became a viola player.' Chapter 2: 'How to deal with regret.' Chapter 3: 'Finding a second career.'
Why did the viola quit the orchestra? It wanted a solo career in silence.
Why did the violist play in the orchestra? Because he couldn't find the keys to the car.
A guy started to take viola lessons. At first lesson, he learned basic posture and how to do up and down bow on the A string. The next week he didn't show up. The teacher called and asked why. The student said 'I'm sorry, but now I'm too busy with all the rehearsals and engagements I'm getting.'
What does a violist say at a job interview? 'Would you like fries with that?'
What's the definition of optimism? A violist with a beeper.
What do you need to be a professional violist? A violin and no ambition.
How does a violist refer to success? 'That thing other musicians have.'
A violist's resume includes: 'Expert at sitting quietly and making occasional sounds.'
What's a violist's backup career? Any career.
How do you make a million dollars as a violist? Start with two million.
A violist's LinkedIn says: 'Open to opportunities... any opportunities.'
Why did the violist become a politician? They're used to nobody listening.
