Why don't violists play chess? They can't tell the difference between a bishop and a knight.
How many violists does it take to make a batch of chocolate chip cookies? Ten. One to stir the batter and nine to peel the M&Ms.
Musicians were building their Union Hall. The violists ended up at the bottom of a ditch. A trumpeter supervised from above. When asked why, the trumpeter put his hand in front of a tree and said 'Hit my hand!' and moved it. The violist went back down and put his own hand in front of his face. 'Now hit my hand with your shovel!'
At a brain transplant hospital, a PhD brain costs $10,000, a NASA scientist brain costs $15,000, and a violist's brain costs $50,000. 'Why so expensive?' 'It's totally unused.'
A violist and a percussionist were walking in a park. The percussionist saw a dead crow and said 'Look, a dead crow.' The violist looked up and asked 'Where?'
What do you call a viola player with half a brain? Gifted.
Once upon a time there was a hospital where they made brain transplants. A client asked about prices. 'This PhD brain costs $10,000, this NASA scientist brain costs $15,000, and this violist brain costs $50,000.' 'Why so expensive?' 'It's totally unused.'
How does a violist's brain cell die? Alone.
