How do you get a dozen violists to play in tune? Shoot 11 of them.
Why shouldn't you drive off a cliff in a mini with three violas in it? You could fit in at least one more.
Why can't a violist play with a knife in his back? Because he can't lean back in his chair.
How does a violist's brain cell die? Alone.
The native guide said 'When drums stop, very bad.' 'What happens when the drums stop?' asked the tourist. 'Next comes viola solo!'
A man went on safari deep into the jungle. Drums had been playing for days. Finally they stopped. The guide screamed in terror. 'What happens now?' asked the man. The guide whispered: 'Viola solo.'
If you throw a violist and a soprano off a cliff, which hits the ground first? The violist. The soprano has to stop halfway down to ask for directions.
If you throw a violist and a soprano off a cliff, which hits first? Who cares?
